May 15th 2002

Mauricio Bedoya was killed yesterday in Medellín, Colombia. He died in the arms of his mother. He was 29.

His brother called me this afternoon, and had no big details. He only knew he was killed by a man who was traveling with them in the same bus.

I asked if it had something to do with the guerrillas or paras, but no. It was personal. He's supposed to call me as soon as he gets back from the burial.

I met Mauricio in july 2000, when I had broken up with my german boyfriend and I was looking for intense emotions. We met in one of those bizarre bars of downtown Bogota. The place that has no DJ, only a jukebox, and the bar is a huge refrigerator, like the ones they use in small town coffee shops or bakeries.

He was a nice and handsome guy. We talked for a while. He had a very strong paisa accent, and I could notice he was not very educated. His name was Anjel (with J) Mauricio Bedoya Escobar, and had no identity papers. He was robbed and lost them. He was born in 1973 near Medellin, in a small town where his parents owned a humble farm. He came to Bogota to look for a better future. He knew that Medellin was a complicated city, and did not want to stay there.

He was the youngest of 14 brothers. He mentioned he was a friend of the Tasca Santamaria's owner, and he was going to spend the night at his place. He did not stay there. He had no job, and he was living with his brother and sister in law in Suba. He loved his brother.

We had sex that same night. His brother and sister and law were not in the apartment. I drove more than a 100 streets to get to his place.

He was gorgeous. He had a body that was completely natural, strong arms, great chest and he loved being topped. Incredible orgasms.

He came a few times to my place, and brought me "presents"... a few young men to have threesomes with. Julian David, the twin brothers, the young guy from the porno movies, a soldier, the guy from Bucaramanga...

I used to give him some money every time he came. But he was not a hustler. After my surgery he gave me an X Files T-Shirt and hat. He knew I loved the series.

I helped him with a recommendation letter. I also helped him with his military license and national ID. In order to get a job, he needed both of these documents. He got a job at Wendy's. First, he was working not far away from my place, then he was moved to Ciudad Salitre.

He found a place for himself. Not far away from his newer job. A small room he would rent from a neurotic woman, with no phone and no hot water.

But Wendy's had to reduce the amount of workers. Bankruptcy? He lost his job after three months, and had to leave the city. Bogota is too big, and if you have no money, it can be a very bad place to be in.

He moved back to Medellin, and lived in the comunas, renting a room. He tried to start his own fast food business. I deposited 400.000 pesos into his account, so he could pay for the licenses and the first month of rent. He was happy with it, but the owner of the store forced him to return the restaurant. He lost all his money, and was forced to sell hot dogs outside the Universidad Nacional. He was happy with it. But he had no license, and finally the police forced him to quit. He had no money for the bribe.

He would call me from time to time and tell me everything that was going on. He would tell me about his mother, and how she had to move out of the farm because the paramilitaries started teasing the region.

He came to Bogota 3 weeks ago, but could not see each other.

He left a message on my answering machine last saturday: "Hola Santi, este es Mauricio desde Medellin. Llamaba a saludarte. Ojalá nos podamos ver cuando vengas en julio. Te quiero mucho. Ciao"

I erased it yesterday.